okay, so i'm here to blog about wednesday and thursday :D

WEDNESDAY IS POOL PARTY DAY!

haahaha. well, the pool party was in emily riemer's place.

so yeah, i arrived in church, and i saw raquel's family car there.
assuming josue was already well and managed to come for the pool party, i searched for him in the youth lounge.
tsk. turns out he's still not well!
gaah.

anyway, so i was hanging out and stuff, playing guitar hero.
then we had to leave for the riemers' house.
so in the bus, raquel & I were looking for seats.
haha, and the guys, sean, bryan and trevor, were sitting at the back seats of the bus.
and they called us over to sit with them, cos there's two more extra seats in the bus.
muahahahaha.
dood, they called those seats special seats for special people. hahahah.
it was so funny, cos sean was shoving trevor so much that him and bryan were falling off their chair, and unfortunately, on me.
tsktsk.

so we reached the place.
boy oh boy, they're house is GINORMOUS!
and the flippin backyard is probably 3 acres big!
they have so much extra space, they can build another house there!
woo.
but the pool wasnt that big. hahahaa.
we went on like a tour around the backyard and stuff.
they have a huge tree house, with three levels in total.
it was SO COOL!
they even have a pond with a mini waterfall :D
but there were traps all over the place cos like, they were trapping the small animals such as raccoons, possums, rats and whatnot.
they live next to this small woody place, so go figure.

anyway, so we went into the pool and stuff.
the pool was kinda small, but heck, it was SO DEEP.
seriously.
like the deep end was somewhere center of the pool.
and the shallowest end is probably 4 feet deep already. hahaha.
we played volleyball and stuff, but mary was almost getting all the hits that came to our side.
which wasnt so fair ):
then we had hotdogs, and cupcakes.
we played some more in the water, and then i got out, cos my face felt like it was burning.
it hurts so much, back then though. now it doesnt.
they played egg toss and stuff, but that was when my face hurts so much, so i didnt play.
but i played the other game called elbow tag.
fun.

after that, we were playing with trevor's splash bombs.
there were eight of them in total, so trevor was like, please, i want to go home with all eight splash bombs.
but heck, they werent paying attention to him.
and he had this worried face, so i decided to help look for the missing splash bombs.
but before that, we were all throwing it at sean.
which was so weird, cos everyone was just throwing anything at sean.
like, eggs, water balloons, splash bombs, etc.
monica even wanted to smear salsa on sean's back.
ahahaha.

so i was walking around, looking for trevor's missing splash bombs.
andi found the last one, so i gave it to him.
haha, then he was so happy, he hugged me :D
lmao.

so yeah went back home and stuff, raquel couldnt sit with me cos hunter sat there.
so like yeah, when we reached the youth lounge, i had to wait for my dad to come and pick me up.
so like, i was playing guitar hero with caroline and the rest of the peepos.
and it was my turn next, after kelly.
so when kelly's turn was over, i asked for her to pass me the guitar controller, but she didnt want to.
she wanted to play some more.
well, i couldnt say anything mean. so i just kept quiet, but caroline told her it was my turn and its unfair to all of us who are waiting.
so kelly huffed and left. hah.

anyway, i was left there alone with trevor and his mom and perian.
i dont think they were waiting for me to be picked up by my dad, cos trevor's mom was talking to perian about youth sunday.
and me and trevor were hanging out and stuff.
so my dad finally picked me up.
end of wednesday.

THURSDAY WAS DEEP SEA FISHING DAY!

wooo!
i went with my dad for the fishing trip.
it was fun, haha, and my dad kept on worrying if he's gonna be out of place.
its weird though, i mean, why would he be out of place?
besides, he wasnt the only adult there.
even pastor george, hannah's dad, was there.
so like, i went off with trevor to get some ice for our cooler.
then i went to play guitar hero.
and my dad went to play pool with some kiddos.

after that, we had to leave, i sat with my dad in the bus. hmmph.
and like, we arrived there and stuff, and we got on the boat, which was super cool.
then we went exploring the boat on the second level. it was pretty cool up there.
then we sailed off, and i was just hanging out with trevor and stuff, cos the girls were sitting in between some older guys, and there wasnt anymore space for me to sit there.
so i was standing with my dad there, and we took a couple of pictures too.
then i went back up with trevor, and we took pictures there too. hahaha.
then after a while, the boat stopped, and we started fishing.
well, my dad went all the way to the front of the boat and fished there, while i was left on the back with trevor and some older doods.
well, i wanted to go with my dad, but it wasnt my fault we got seperated. he had to go up there and there was no more poles left there.
so yeah, i went to fish next to trevor and stuff.
and i didnt catch any fishes.
poor me.

haha, trevor caught this huge fish, while we were just sitting there waiting for fish to bite.
well, i wanted to catch a fish so badly, so i was all huffy and stuff.
and trevor kept on assuring me that i would catch a fish :D
but still didnt.

oh, and we were chatting right there while waiting for a bite, and i asked him;
how come when you're hanging out with me, you dont go all goofy and stuff?
cos trevor is usually goofy, especially when he's hanging out with his guy pals, or sometimes when he's just talking to hannah or caroline, but when it came to me, he doesnt usually goof around.
i mean he does, but not as much.
so he said; well, its just that i dont know if you like it when i'm goofy, and i dont know if you like the stuffs we guys talk about, such as shows like family guy, and paintball and stuff.
so yeah, he's pretty serious when he hangs out with me.
but oh well, at least i've got a good guy friend there.

so on the way back, my dad was saying that he feels bad for me cos it looked like i didnt have any friends in church. and im only hanging out around trevor and stuff.
but he didnt know that the girls were my friends too, its just that he just managed to see me on the day when i hung out with trevor the most.
so like, he keeps on saying im so pitiful cos i look like a stray dog just following around wherever trevor goes.
but that's only cos me and trevor were talking, and he was walking around.

but then i started feeling bad for myself, cos all these bad memories just started coming back to me.
and i tried hard not to cry or to tell my dad that he doesnt know, my life has been in that situation most of the time, cos of all the moving we made.
there's just so much that he doesnt know about.
like the fact that i've been trying so hard to make friends, even back in singapore.
and how i cant help it if he felt so irritated that its always ericka i hang out with here in the neighborhood, simply because she's my only friend here, and i dont want to hang out with priscilla and all, cos i know they are bad influence.
so i just locked myself in the bathroom and started crying and stuff.
its really hard to keep on making friends and ending up leaving them anyway.
there's no sense of security anymore.
like sometimes i dont really feel the need to get a best friend or close friends cos i know, i might just have to leave them again.
so i probably will just drown myself in the pool of self pity.
cos its just the way my life is right now.

and how i hate myself is another issue.
there's so much i dont like in my life.
so so much.